Welcome to the Jungle
By Sean at 12 June, 2008, 9:30 pm
Here’s another eXile update courtesy of Ames in Radar. The Russian liberal media tempest is swirling overhead. Is The eXile the next Cindy Sheehan of the Russian opposition? Getting the attention of the Russian government is bad enough. But becoming a potential poster child for a desperate Russian opposition? If I was Ames I would head for zee hills. Read for yourself:
Today is “Russia Day.” It’s the official holiday when Russians celebrate their independence—from their own empire. On June 12, 1990, the Russian Republic’s parliament passed a resolution declaring “sovereignty” from the USSR, paving the way for Russia to “free” itself from the 14 other republics it had spent centuries conquering. It would be like Mexico celebrating February 2, 1848—the day Santa Anna was forced to sign away California and the entire Southwest to the gringos—as “Mexico Day.”
Which may explain why Russia’s state-run RIA Novosti grimly announced, “Unfortunately, the name of this holiday disorients the people completely.”
Whatever. Today’s a holiday, so I should relax and enjoy the party and forget about the fact that I’m under attack. For the celebration here in Moscow, the Kremlin is flying in none other than former French president Jacques Chirac, so that Medvedev can pin a medal on the old whore’s saggy man-boobs, to honor his “contribution to promoting Russian culture”—exactly what my paper is accused of not doing properly enough. I guess you don’t get Kremlin medals when you headline your paper that you “dare to fart in Russia’s face.” But that doesn’t explain why Chirac would agree to make such a complete ass out of himself on the world stage. It would be like flying to Riyadh so the king could honor you with a “Female Driving Instructor of the Year” sash.
Perhaps Chirac came just for the after-party. Now that Medvedev is the new tsar, he has the authority to hire his favorite band to play at his Red Square Russia Day party—and wouldn’t you know, he chose none other than Uriah Heep to rock the Kremlin walls down. If you’ve never heard of Uriah Heep—and 99 percent of you haven’t—you’re missing out: They’re a real-life Spinal Tap classic-rock outfit that packs stadiums from Smolensk to Kamchatka, even though they couldn’t land a gig on open-mike night in a Tuscaloosa saloon. True to their Spinal Tap calling, Uriah Heep pulled out of their Red Square gig today at the last minute, fucking up Medvedev’s classic rawk party, which their website blames on the “tour promoters [sic] complete lack of adherence to contractual stipulations.” I can imagine how the Heep fell out with their promoters: “You call this a sandwich, huh, Vladimir? I don’t want this! Because, look, you have to fold it like this, and then … no, it’s a fucking joke, really. I can’t do this, I won’t go to fucking Belarus if I can’t get a proper fucking sandwich.”
Read on . . .
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Now he’s just being a dick.
To call the Russian opposition \”desperate\” is both uncharitable and accurate.
But isn\’t it sort of problematic for you to compare the plight of the eXile as a Terry Schiavo-type of opportunistic vehicle for the Putin-haters, when two days ago you complained that they weren\’t getting enough press?
You wrote \”The English Language media either doesn’t know about the story (unlikely), doesn’t care (likely), and is in fact happy (most likely).\”
Now with Ames new rhetoric, maybe the media will know, care, and be unhappy – but this is an undesirable outcome?
But isn\’t it sort of problematic for you to compare the plight of the eXile as a Terry Schiavo-type of opportunistic vehicle for the Putin-haters, when two days ago you complained that they weren\’t getting enough press?
Problematic? Yeah, I’ll admit to that. But in real political terms, the Russian opposition is desperate if it latches on to the eXile as a cause whether the outcome is positive or not. Martyrs have short political lives and produce fleeting political results. Or maybe my own skepticism is because I have mixed feelings about the Russian opposition in general (just like I do for its American equivalent.)
Actually I wouldn’t say that I was complaining about the lack of coverage, though I can see how it can be read like that. It was more of a jab at their hypocrisy. I’m sure you’re right and the English press will catch up eventually. There is already an article in RFE/RL about the eXile today. I’m sure a few others will follow in the coming days.
Ames knows he’s f@#ked and he’s trying to ride this f@#ckeddom as far as he can…hopefully not into a shallow grave six miles from Irkutsk. That said I miss the “eXile”; it was like a pirate radio station in print, the bastard son of “Spy Magazine” and some US muckraking rag like “Covert Action Quarterly.” It was where I first read Limonov (in broken English) and the only paper that had the guts to call the hacks at other papers whores and throw horse-sperm pies at them. It was fun while it lasted.