Commie Sect Denounces Dr. Jones
By Sean at 25 May, 2008, 8:07 am
Russian Communists don’t like Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, reports the Associated Press. But the communists in question are not the Communist Party of the Russian Federation (KPRF), as the report implies. There are several communist parties in Russia and the one that has began a campaign against Indy is a small 500 member sect called Communists of the St. Petersburg and Leningrad Region (KPLO).
According to their website, KPLO have no official affiliation with the KPRF. Rather they, “are communists, like the KPRF, only better: more modern, younger, lively, and creative.” They forgot to add freakier. Just check out the accompanying photo. I’ve seen a lot of things but never communist vestments. And what’s up with that Young Pioneer? He looks like should adorn someone’s lawn.
And what has the good Dr. Jones done to get the KPLO all hot and bothered? As the Ideological Committee of the TsK KPLO explains in a letter to the film’s stars Harrison Ford and Kate Blanchet:
Your role in the film Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skill offends all the Soviet and Russia people, all who remember the difficult 1950s, when our country finished the reconstruction after the Great [Patriotic]War, and didn’t send to the United States merciless terrorists.
A bunch of ranting and attempts at historical corrections follow. The film’s plot centers around Indy battling Soviet agents trying to get their hands on some skull with secret powers that, I assume, will aid them in world domination. Maybe someone should let the KPLO know that it’s just a movie, and probably not a very good one in the first place. Also, maybe someone at AP should do their homework and realize that in Russia, not all Communist parties are the same.
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This is nothing compared to how Putin rigged Eurovision.
I’ve just got back from the cinema, and have to agree.
Of all the Indy villains, Cate Blanchett was by far the most attractive. And, although thoroughly amoral, she had a relentlessly inquisitive mind. The Soviet Union would have been proud of her.
Film as a whole was a bit tired, though.
There’s actually an interview with Harrison Ford in the current issue of Russkii Newsweek: http://www.runewsweek.ru/rubrics/?rubric=society&rid=2555
There’ actually an interview with Harrison Ford in Russkii Newsweek here: http://www.runewsweek.ru/rubrics/?rubric=society&rid=2555
I’ll have to watch it tonight as part of “cultural waste of time”
”Film as a whole was a bit tired, though.”
Thats it in a nutshell. There was nothing new in it, and its actually now in the realms of a kiddies film really. I’d have to agree on Kate Blanchett though. She was seriously hot in the film and could give real Russkiye dyevushki a run for their money:-)
”This is nothing compared to how Putin rigged Eurovision.”
He did, didnt he?:-) Never mind. He only has to rig 5 more of them to catch up with Ireland:-) Sadly(?) we’ll never win it again cos of all this neighbour voting. Half these countries should be thrown out and the old EU left to fight it out like in the old days for OUR trophy!:-)
”I’ll have to watch it tonight as part of “cultural waste of time” ”
Save your money ivanov, its not really worth the admission.
Ireland should send U2. Yeah, that would be fair.
”Ireland should send U2. Yeah, that would be fair”
I wouldnt wish that on the good citizens of Europe! Can you imagine the acceptance speech?:-)
None of the old EU countries are ever likely to win again. The voting chumminess from Eastern Europe has even caused the old EU nations to vote for each other in ways that didnt happen before as much. My own view is that we(the old EU) should withdraw, have our own competition and let the COMECONs and Soviet Republics have their own competition. I know Ireland has sent crap to the show in recent years, but even if we sent something good we have no chance anymore, ditto Britain, France, Sweden etc.
Come on Ger — Eurovision has ALWAYS been crap. Fun, but total crap. And, so long as you don’t take it seriously, it’s even more fun now.
There were Brits today seriously questioning why their pathetic entry didn’t get any votes from Malta, of all places.
It’s clear that the only truly fair way to vote is according to the sexiness of female singers/dancers on stage for any given country’s entry. Ergo – conragratulations, Ukraine!
Save your money ivanov, its not really worth the admission.
Ger. Do you think I don’t know it? But I have to support our troops…. oops family. And as you guess comrad Ford still able to get attention from ladies.
In some moments is was real fun though. Best episode – Russian camp in Amazon forest with balalaika….
And I didn’t find any offense to CCCP. What supprised me the most – lack of simple shelves in US warehouse. Is it really that bad?
Agree – movie for kids in the range 5-12 years. Maybe they should have to devote more time to Nazca desert pictures? At least kids could get some info.
“There were Brits today seriously questioning why their pathetic entry didn’t get any votes from Malta, of all places. ”
Malta is a well-known hotbed of court appointed not so Britain friendlies.
”Come on Ger — Eurovision has ALWAYS been crap. Fun, but total crap. And, so long as you don’t take it seriously, it’s even more fun now.”
”Ger. Do you think I don’t know it? But I have to support our troops…. oops family. And as you guess comrad Ford still able to get attention from ladies.”
Yeah he does. There’s a lecturer in our dept, who’ll remain nameless, who looks and sounds like Dr Jones and the students have nicknamed him ”Indy”. He’s totally cool and I’m going to a huring match with him next sunday actually. Some guys just have it and Harrison Ford is one of them. He could have probably almost any woman in the world, and I’m baffled he’s with Calista Flockhart.
” Best episode – Russian camp in Amazon forest with balalaika….”
That was really funny:-) Come to think of it, what did you think of Cate Blanchett and her Russian Ivanov? I thought she sounded pretty decent, but I’m hardly a good judge.
”Malta is a well-known hotbed of court appointed not so Britain friendlies.”
Speaking of non-Court appointed Russia friendlies, where is the Legend Himself MAA?
Gosh — I think Calista Flockhart is kind of cool, in an under-nourished sort of way.
But, Ger, does this sudden outpouring concerning Eurovision mean you’ll be voting against the Lisbon Treaty in a couple of weeks? As in, away with these foreign types and all their nasty ways?
”But, Ger, does this sudden outpouring concerning Eurovision mean you’ll be voting against the Lisbon Treaty in a couple of weeks? As in, away with these foreign types and all their nasty ways?”
I’ll vote yes to Lisbon even though I dont really know why to be honest. The goverment and main opposition have gone into overdrive trying to convince us to vote yes and when Sinn Fein are telling you vote ‘No’ its definitely a sign to vote the other way!:-) The majority of us here couldnt be bothered reading up in great detail on the thing, but crucially tax harmonisation will not be enforced, and thats good enough for most of us. Far more seriously than Lisbon right now is our faltering economy; stats in papers yesterday say that huge quantities of immigrants are leaving to return home, a bad sign indeed. The Celtic Tiger is long dead I’m afraid. Maybe we’ll all emigrate to Russia where the money is:-)
If Ireland doesn’t want to send hot babes in thongs, Ireland has nobody to blame but itself.
If Ireland doesn’t want to send hot babes in thongs, Ireland has nobody to blame but itself.
Exactly. We’ve gotta adapt. This is the New Europe. Forget Riverdance. And burn the damn puppet.
Ger, so you think Lisbon will pass? The polls seem to show “don’t know” tilting slightly towwards “no”.
Agree.
Three babes – Ukranian, Armenian and …from Greece? – were same “shake your ass” type.
The only reason why Bilan The Sucker won this “competition” – all others were too bad. If you remember he tried already – but that time it was hot Finish parni who won? Last year – excellent Serbian singer – short legs, rather fat, in glasses. But with the song and the voice!
Back to the topic.
Kate was doing very well. In fact her Russian accent in English was as good as her English accent in Russian
And the theater was FULL! At 9 PM Sunday!
PS. For sure it will be rated as comedy in Russia. BTW did you noticed that this “foreign” guy looked like Gorlum (when he looked at Kate)? The one that appeared from 13 glass sceletons.
”If Ireland doesn’t want to send hot babes in thongs, Ireland has nobody to blame but itself.
Exactly. We’ve gotta adapt. This is the New Europe. Forget Riverdance. And burn the damn puppet.”
”Three babes – Ukranian, Armenian and …from Greece? – were same “shake your ass” type.”
Gentlemen I can only agree with those sentiments in the light of yet another disaster at Eurovision:-) Its not as if we’re short women -Ireland is full of hot babes, though it doesnt have the sheer, stupendous volume of babes as does Moscow. Even Guus Hiddink has mentioned the babe-factor in Moskva. I think Ireland is going to have to start sending totty if we’re to even make top 10 in future.
”Ger, so you think Lisbon will pass? The polls seem to show “don’t know” tilting slightly towwards “no”.”
The latest news is that Yes are ahead by 5 points but there are still around 25% undecided, a huge number that is causing the Dail consternation (except for SF, of course). The consensus is though that Yes will win, though not by a whole lot. Basically we’re being told if we dont vote yes we’ll be toast. At the moment I’m validating analytical methods for around 60 organic volatiles in water, so I’m up to my nuts, and I havent given Lisbon much thought, but I’ll plod along and vote. More Lisbon info at:
http://www.rte.ie/news/features/lisbontreaty/index.html
”BTW did you noticed that this “foreign” guy looked like Gorlum (when he looked at Kate)?”
Do you mean Golum from LOTR? I think he did. Mind you, LOTR was something I was made sit through rather than watch voluntarily, so my memory is hazy:-)
Speaking of non-Court appointed Russia friendlies, where is the Legend Himself MAA?
Showing Harrison Ford how to pick up women.
I think what irritates Irish people -and more of us than will admit it – is that we have no hope anymore of winning the thing.
That’s why us Brits laugh at the whole thing. We’ve never stood a chance of winning, so we don’t get irritated when the tide turns against us.
“Speaking of non-Court appointed Russia friendlies, where is the Legend Himself MAA?”
Complaining that the fact that Mike Averko did not win Eurovision — even more shamefully, was not even nominated! — is an example of anti-Russian parallel biases.
”That’s why us Brits laugh at the whole thing. We’ve never stood a chance of winning, so we don’t get irritated when the tide turns against us.”
We laugh at it too. But we still want to win! That trophy is OURS!:-) Bloody foreigners!!
”Complaining that the fact that Mike Averko did not win Eurovision — even more shamefully, was not even nominated! — is an example of anti-Russian parallel biases.”
He was eliminated very early on in the non-Court Appointed Russia Friendly qualifying round. His song – a duet with Alexandra titled ”Russia is Just Brilliant, No Matter What” – was disqualified on the grounds that it contained no Russian language:-)
”Showing Harrison Ford how to pick up women.”
I wouldnt be suprised. After all, he knows Russia better than all of us put together and loves telling us so, ignoring the years spent there and the language skills (well, CD and TNs anyway!). Still and all, I’d love to meet the guy. He’s very funny when he gets going.
Russia is Just Brilliant, No Matter What
(rejected Eurovision contendor, 2008)
Russia is just brilliant, no matter what
Russia is just brilliant, no matter what
If you don’t agree with me
I’m gonna smack you up
Woo-woo, baby, woo-woo
I’m a Russocentric singer
Singing Russocentric rhymes
I live with my momma
She gives me money all the time
Woo-woo, baby, woo-woo
”Russia is just brilliant, no matter what”
Rap in middle
Chris Doss is a Troll
The Paddy’s a Tool
Newman is Knob
And db aint cool
P Lavelle
Sure does smell
Guillory is whack
And Lyndon smokes crack
I’m doing my time
With the Tiraspol Times
Bustin’ Russophobes
‘Till my name is in Forbes
Nice try Ger, but I would stick to chemistry if I were you.
”Nice try Ger, but I would stick to chemistry if I were you.”
To be honest, I’m only mediocre at that too:-) Yeah,neither Kanye West or Linus Pauling need not lose any sleep, thats for sure!:-) By the way Euro 2008 coming up -if yourself and the readers can bear my writing, I can do match reports (and caustic criticism) of the Sbornaya’s efforts in the first round.
Shaibu! Shaibu!
If you write lyrics for next evrovizion – Ireland has very good chances. At least I promise to vote!
Ger would have to perform in a thong. I’m scared.
”Shaibu! Shaibu!
If you write lyrics for next evrovizion – Ireland has very good chances. At least I promise to vote!”
Thank you Ivanov!:-) At least somebody here appreciates my talents!! Thats one vote of got already! Irlande, une point!
”Ger would have to perform in a thong. I’m scared”
It sure wouldnt be pretty Chris, I can guarantee you that. Might get me sympathy votes though:-)
I just tried it on my guitar, and ”Russia is just brilliant, no matter what” works pretty well if set to the music of “Panic” by the Smiths. You just have to fiddle with it a bit because “Panic” only has three-line verses.
It also allows you to add a lengthy “hang the pundit” bit.
Oooh! Oooh! I thought of another one.
I’m a Russocentric Russia pundit and I’m OK
I sleep all night and do the absolute bare minimum of work all day
I put on my momz’ clothing
and hang around in bars
Ger.
Add to the text other names of Sean’s blogers – and you’ll get enough votes by default
With some guys joining you as backstage voices – you’ll get votes from their families as well. That’s might be very close to the victory!
PS. My son found movie “awesome”. Well, at least now he knows about Nazca.
OK, to the beat of ‘Panic’, sung by MAA
Punditry on the streets of New York
My punditry is all over the internet
I’d like to shoot Chris Doss
Paddy trolling, trolls on
Guillory told me Be Gone
And Peter Lavelle Sucks
Hang the Paddy, Hang Tim Newman,
Hang the Paddy Hang the Paddy Hang the Paddy!
Lyndon Allin writes all bullshit
La Russophobe gives me hack attacks
Edward Lucas stinks
ivanov takes no notice
Andy doesnt do me justice
But my commentary’s best
I havent a word of Russian
Havent got a word of Ukrainian
But I dont give a f***
Hang the Paddy, Hang Tim Newman,
Hang the Paddy Hang the Paddy Hang the Paddy!
”With some guys joining you as backstage voices – you’ll get votes from their families as well. That’s might be very close to the victory!
PS. My son found movie “awesome”. Well, at least now he knows about Nazca”
ivanov, you’ve given me great hope. With your encouragement and Russocentric punditry, I WILL bring back the Cup to Ireland!!:-)
I’ll use all my power vertical – but my family will vote for you. Two times. Or I’ll cut them gas… oops ADSL of course!
”Cut the Gas”..? Would Russia or Russians really do that to someone non-compliant? No way:-)I dont believe it!:-)
“Hang the Paddy” might get Mike into trouble with the IRA. Well maybe not, since John Lydon gets away with this stuff. By the way Ger does Lydon get much rep in Ireland, being as he is a native son? (I don’t remember if he was actually born there, but his parents were.)
I hear that Lydon once wanted to record a song by the name of “Russia Punditry in the UK,” but MacLaren apparently stopped him, being the not-so-Russia-friendly cunt that he is.
”Well maybe not, since John Lydon gets away with this stuff. By the way Ger does Lydon get much rep in Ireland, being as he is a native son?”
Chris, would you believe, I’ve never heard of him even!:-) Of course the McCourt brother have made careers out of ripping into Ireland (and Limerick in particular!) but I’ve never heard of Lydon. If he’s Irish American, he’s unlikely to be on 99% of people’s radar here. Denis Leary loves coming to Ireland because people take no notice of him here!(much less care, though I think he’s funny sometimes)
Ger, you’re scaring me. John Lydon is the real name of Johnny Rotten, lead singer of the nest rock band of all time.
Speaking of which, the middle-aged Sex Pistols played Moscow the other day. I couldn’t go. No money.
